Keeping Your Values As A Single Lady in the Social Media Age – Juliana Olayode

This is something people are not always willing to talk about, sometimes not even because they don’t believe it but because of the way society views anyone who talks about keeping herself until marriage. Some people will tell you it’s impossible and creates room for pretense. Some others simply decline to talk about it in order not to be considered social pariahs among their mates. In fact, I was surprised at the number of young ladies who believe in sexual purity until marriage among young girls in my circle of influence but would rather pretend among their friends and because they don’t dress any different people naturally assumed they were as wayward as the others. It’s even more difficult than ever in this social media age where pictures, porn, crated videos and everything you need to “spoil quick” is at your disposal but you know what Femmetotale stands for… Standing out no matter the pressure.


Imagine my surprise when I read about an amazing lady in this social media age talk about keeping herself and even more surprising is the fact that she’s in the movie industry.

Many of you remember her as Toyosi in the popular Jenifa’s Diaries series but what you don’t know is that she’s got strong values that guide her even way beyond the movie set.


In her own words, 

I am a strong advocate for sexual purity and it goes beyond the screen for me. That is who I am and I’m not doing it for any other reason than that. Years before I began acting, God told me that

He would open doors for me and that wherever I go, I should always talk about Him and sexual purity. I belong to Mine Ministry which advocates sexual purity and we have our World Virginity Day on the second Saturday in June every year. Virginity Day isn’t only for virgins but for all who stand for sexual purity and know that virginity isn’t a thing of the past. There are lots of immoral things on social media which attract a lot of traffic but it’s sad that when you talk about something like sexual purity, people look at you like you’re doing something weird. I must confess that it has not been easy for me. But irrespective of what goes on around me and in the movie industry, I have resolved to stand tall and stay true to my values.

I am in a relationship now but I wasn’t in one when I started advocating purity. Sexual purity isn’t all about being in a relationship or not. A lot of people might think that I’m saying I’m sexually pure because I wasn’t in a relationship but there are some people that could come up to you and say they don’t want to have a relationship with you, that all they want is sex. There will always be pressure and it’s not an easy process but it’s good to stick to one’s values. Sometimes, one may even be tempted to give it all up but I believe that people shouldn’t have sex until they’re married.

So tips for keeping your values in the social media age.

#Define your standards to people you come in contact with. It may not be easy at first but people will relate with you based on how you present yourself to them.

#Avoid materials that will pollute your mind. That means you should stay away from pornographic sites, soft sell magazines, x-rated movies, etc

#Replace sexually explicit materials with godly, inspirational and wholesome stuff.

#Make friends with people who share your values and that includes the opposite sex. Be not deceived evil communication corrupts good manners.

#Get rid of contacts who only share explicit stuff on social media. It’s crazy how some girls delight in posting their nudes and some guys specialize in sharing such pictures too. You’ve got some unfriending to do so get going.

#Avoid joining social media sites that promote immorality. I don’t want to mention them but there are sites that clearly encourage nudity and obscenity. Don’t be seen on such!



Words in italics culled from


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