Top most on your mind when choosing a partner to start a long term relationship with is your level of compatibility. It is true that unlike charges attract and most great relationship and marriages consist of two partners with very opposite personalities. For instance, quiet guys often tend to seek out bold and almost aggressive women. A friend of mine once told me that he chose his wife because of her bold and assertive nature. He loved the way she would always spring up to his defence whenever anybody tried to take advantage of his calm nature. That endeared her to him. Everyone else wondered at their compatibility but he was very happy with his choice. Yours might be different.
So are there rules for relationship compatibility? Must people with very opposite personalities attract? The truth is that there are no universal rules for compatibility but there are certain factors that determine compatibility.
Here are a few pointers.
- Interests: To have a long-lasting relationship, it is very important to have similar interests with your partner. It is true you may not enjoy watching football or belong to the same club but there must be other interests you share. For instance, you both might love the same genre of music or movies, books, writing, outdoor sports, indoor games like chess or ludo, or singing. These are the things that will spice up your relationship even if love wanes.
- Philosophy: Your philosophy of life is a very dominant issue for a lasting relationship. We all have our views and opinions formed by our experiences, family and circle of influence. If a man believes that he can get involved in any kind of activity even if illegal to make money and you believe it is only through honest work that a man should build wealth then this is a serious pointer on your incompatibility except one of you changes his or her views.
- Attraction: Another very important aspect of compatibility is mutual attraction. Spending a lifetime with someone you are not attracted to is a sure way of sentencing yourself to emotional prison. This is someone you are definitely going to be getting in the sack with every other day so there must be a very strong level of attraction for it not to become a chore. I’ve heard ladies say about a suitor that they are seriously considering, “I’m not really attracted to him but I believe the attraction will develop later.” This kind of mindset is a trap. What if the attraction never develops and you’re appalled anytime he touches you? Need I say more?
- Respect: Your partner should be able to respect you as a person. That man that talks down to you, dismisses your opinion and says “what do you know, you’re just a woman” obviously doesn’t respect you. Also you must respect him as your man because submission only works where there is respect.
- Religion: This is a very vital aspect of compatibility. Religion is a very emotional issue and very few people of different religions can successfully coexist. Can you marry a man that has different beliefs from yours? Remember that light and darkness cannot exist together. Besides, it is also important to check the compatibility of your denomination and his even if you are both Christians. As a born again Christian can you marry someone who attends Cherubim and Sarafin church? As a Catholic can you marry a Pentecostal? These are important things to check.
Do you have other points on compatibility? Please share in the comments section.