Will you marry me? Taking the bull by the horn when your man is taking forever to propose.

You’re in a relationship with your perfect man and you have waited for so long for him to pop the big question but he seems to be taking too long to make up his mind. Are you going to wait for him or should you take the bull by the horns and pop the big question yourself? This controversial issue has trailed the subject of relationships for like forever.

Your man might be the shy, quiet type and you the more outspoken type. You believe that everything is perfect between you two but he just won’t rise to the challenge. So you keep thinking about it, wondering whether you should just go ahead and ask him to marry you by yourself or keep waiting. Now you’re browsing relationship sites looking for a confirmation that it is okay for you to propose to the man you love all by yourself.

Before you take that bold step there are a few things you must consider.

His likely reaction

There’s a reason why men are always very jittery before they pop the big question no matter how close they are to the lady they are dating. Nobody wants to be rejected. A man might even be able to bear it if he asks and is rejected but can you as a lady bear it? You need to also consider the effect his likely rejection will have on your relationship. My guess is that things are going to get so awkward between you two that the relationship will die from the minute he rejects your proposal.

What people will say

If you’re going to propose to a man then you must have a natural bullet proof shock absorber attached to your chest. People are definitely going to talk and ridicule you. Can you bear it?

The life-wire of the relationship/marriage 

From the moment you propose to a man you will automatically become the life-wire and propeller of the relationship. You will always be the one to initiate things in the relationship because you have inadvertently assumed his role as the man.

He may secretly resent you

A man’s mind is a complex web of ego intertwined with a sense of prowess. When you propose to a man he may resent you for assuming his role due to his ego. Imagine a marriage where your man secretly resents you.

You lose your right to complain

During the marriage you cannot be seen to complain if he hurts you. The advantage women have in a marriage setting is that it was the man who wooed you into marriage and it is a card women in all generations use without reservation. That’s why women play hard to get when a man proposes to them and that’s why a married woman can easily say, “I was on my own when you came and asked me to marry you.” Imagine if the reverse is the case and a man starts saying that to you.

It screams of desperation

Asking a man to marry you practically screams of desperation. It would portray you as a desperate woman who has no pride. Your man will also likely treat you like a desperate woman if he accepts.

You will miss out on the opportunity to feel special

When a man proposes to you, at that moment you will feel special like a fairy tale princess whose prince charming gets down on one knee and asks her hand in marriage amidst cheering spectators. Taking that role rips you of the joy of feeling special and wanted.

So while you may feel like the contemporary lady who can take the bold step and propose to her man you will discover that it is better to be old fashioned and happy than to set yourself up for a life-long heartbreak. If you’re anxious about whether he has intentions of marrying you then you better ask him yourself and be prepared to end the relationship of he doesn’t want to marry you. A man who wants you will have sleepless nights thinking of how to quickly propose and make you his before some other man does. It is in their nature to be the hunters no matter how quiet or reserved he may seem so let him hunt.

Keep being special


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