So you’re on Facebook and you get all mushy mushy when your friend puts up a picture of herself in a Deola Sagoe dress with hubby in a Mai Atafo suit, smiling like they’re on their honeymoon, teeth gleaming and dressing on point like they have no care in the world. You heave a sigh as you think about your own husband who try as you may would never sit down for a photoshoot, he doesn’t even smile for the camera, he’s irritable cos of the economic situation in the country so how are u even gonna start mentioning going on a vacation to him? You’re totally jealous and wish you could have married someone like your friend’s boo instead.
Ok just hold it right there in your tracks… there’s no such thing as a perfect hubby and before you start wondering if you married the wrong man let me tell you this, there’s absolutely no perfect husband on earth. While you’re admiring their Facebook look perfectly captured by T.Y Bello’s camera, you don’t see the veiled animosity on the face of the wife who has to endure hubby’s drunken late nights, you don’t see the tear-stricken face perfectly hidden under layers of her Mac foundation, neither do you know about the numerous STI’s she’s treated in the past month.
You’re so enraptured by the facade of their perfect pictures and you pick a fight with your hubby because he has failed to give you money to fix your hair again. He says you’re overreacting and you blow your top, sniffing as you remind him that you used to be a hot chick before you got married to him. Now yours is an endless tale of baby poop and onions, smelly hands where you used to spot a perfect manicure with the latest designer perfumes oozing from all the pores in your skin. While you’re busy picking a quarrel with hubby what you don’t know is that your dear friend, Shantel would give anything to have the kind of love and peace that exists in your own home. She would give up the luxury cars for a ride in a plain car with a man that actually cares about her, she’d give up her silk sheets for a night in a shaky bed with a husband who will actually sleep in it with her, she’d give up her retinue of cooks for a day with a man who will surprise her by actually cooking for her by himself.
My point is stop dwelling on the possibility that you may have married the wrong man and start taking pleasure in the little things that make your life beautiful, like the way his face lights up when he sees you as he comes home after work or the way he belches after eating the sumptuous meal you prepared or the small inexpensive gifts he buys when he comes home from a trip (it’s the thought that counts, remember) or the way he shields you from the mean jabs of his family members or even tradition for that matter. There…you have a perfect man except you’ve failed to see it while you’re busy envying your friend, Shantel.
Your man may not be the perfect man but he can be perfect for you. Mind you perfection is a journey and not a destination.
Yours on the journey of perfection…